My Thanksgiving thankfulness

This is a year that I have much to be thankful for. God has given me so many blessings. He never ceases to amaze me! I thought I would share a few new things I'm thankful for, including Thanksgiving itself.

This is a year I will remember forever. The most important day of my life happened in 2011, I was married. I became a wife to a devoted, loving, funny, very special man. For this, I am eternally thankful.

I am thankful that, with this marriage, comes a whole new family to me. I have another Dad, brother, cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. And all of them have welcomed me into their family with open arms & hearts. They have been so kind and loving. I had the honor of spending Thanksgiving with some of them, and it was awesome! I will never be able to fully show my gratitude to Brad for bringing all of these amazing people into my life. To the Meyer's, Haske's, Ginter's and Gasch's: I am so thankful for all of you. And I am so blessed to be able to be around each of you.

God also blessed me with overcoming a huge struggle. As some of you know, I have dealt with depression & anxiety for several years. Anxiety has usually been the stronger of the two evils for me...until this year. I faced several months of heart-numbing depression. It was very difficult. Not just for me, but for my family & friends as well. They had to deal with me not being myself and tip-toe around my emotions to try to help me. I am extremely happy to say that, with the help of counseling, the support of my family & friends, and my biggest fan, my husband, I have overcome some of those darkest days. I know depression is not something that is "healed," but I feel I have made progress, and that is a big deal to me.

I am thankful for the friends who have shined this year. Ashley & Ann, you are admirable women who have been in my life for over a decade now! (Are we getting old?!) You have stood by my side through thick & thin, always there for me. I know I can come to you for anything, whether it be advice, to vent, the camaraderie, or for a good laugh! I know we will be true friends forever. Long live AAA! :) I love you both.

I am thankful for my Taylor family. Dad, Mom, Melissa, Andy & Dan: you are my blood, my most fond memories, my core, the reason I am who I am today. Thank you for loving me always. I love you all so much, I could never express it in words. 

Finally, I must thank God. You have listened to my prayers, comforted my heart when it is hurting, given me strength, taught me lessons, and you are shaping me into the women you & I want me to be. For all of these things, and the hundreds of other things I didn't mention: THANK YOU, FATHER! You are my Savior, my strength, and my love.

Here's to a wonderful Holiday season! May God bless you & yours!

a letter to me: take a deep breath

dear ali,

who are you when you are flustered and anxious? how do you feel when you look back on all of those times of mental mayhem? why does this happen, anyway? aren't you a pretty happy person?

take a moment. more like a solid half hour. and breath. just breath. forget who made you feel bad today. forget the mistakes you made. forget all of the stress. just close your eyes and breath.

feel better?

you are a good person. you can handle whatever God gives you, just trust in Him always, and know that it will all make sense one day. that's all you can do today. and it's enough.

Help me decide!

As many of you know, I get the urge to change my hair a few times a year. With fall approaching, I am trying to decide if I should go red, go brunette, or stay blonde...what do you think?

Red...

Brunette... 

Or Blonde?

Comment on here or on facebook what you like most! I can't decide!

Fall Favorites

It's almost my favorite time of the year, fall! I love the changing colors, sleeping with the windows open - feeling the crisp air roll in, Halloween (yet another excuse to eat candy!), the beautiful scenery, and NEW CLOTHES! I thought I'd share my list of my fall favorites for this year!

1. Suede booties - so cute! Can be paired with just about anything, but my favorite combos are a cute skirt or skinny jeans.
I like this taupe pair from Famous Footwear: http://www.famousfootwear.com/Shopping/ProductDetails.aspx?p=26340&pg=1021948
Ideas:

2. Speaking of skinny jeans, SKINNY JEANS! - I will admit, it took me quite a while to hop on the skinny jean train when they became popular again. But they are cuter than ever and can be paired with any type of shoes! My favorite combo for these are boots and a flowy top. I like these Levi's: http://us.levi.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11643381&ab=leftnav%3Aleviscurveid%3Acurveid-bold%3A3146900&cp=3146849.3146880.3146900.4450620
Ideas:

3. Soft sweaters - As the weather gets a little cooler, it's so nice to put on a cozy sweater and pair it with jeans on a casual weekend, or with black trousers for work attire. I like this one from gap.com (in heather gray): http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=5745&vid=1&pid=850519 
Ideas:

4. Scarves - Great with just about any top, scarves can be worn many different ways (see below). I like the wrap-around style for this fall. Here's one from Banana Republic that I love: http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=60772&vid=1&pid=858014&scid=858014012
Ideas:

5. Leather jackets - I have never owned one, but oh how I want one for this fall! They are classic and so chic. I love, love this one from JCrew(I cold never afford this, but a girl can dream!): http://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/outerwear/leather/PRDOVR~26158/26158.jsp
Ideas:

So that's my list of my fall favorites for this year! Feel free to send me some of your ideas, I would love to hear them! Finally, what is more beautiful than Minnesota in the fall?

My Saving Grace

Everyone has one place they can go to where they can relax. May it be a cabin, a yoga class, a beach, or even just a room in their house. My place is Wisconsin Rapids, WI. It is my second home. My weekend getaway. My haven escape from the hectic. My fresh breath of air. Needless to say, I love it there.

So how did I find this place?

My husband was born and raised there. After dating for several months, he decided it was time to bring me home and meet some of his family. And from that trip, I was hooked.

The most important part of the trips there is Grant, Brad's father. He is the definition of mellow. He goes with the flow. And that sets a vibe of relaxation. He is a loving, kind man that would do anything for his family. I consider him my second Dad. He has done a lot for Brad & I. And you can see the light in his eyes for his children. (Brad has a brother - Jason - who lives in Chicago.)

So, what does Wisconsin Rapids have to offer? The better question is what DOESN'T it have to offer? Let me make a simple list that will guarantee you to understand my love of this city.

1. (Real) Beer and liquor at Wal-mart! Uhh, can you say awesome?
2. From the Ground Up Coffee Shop - a local coffee shop that has amazing coffee and espresso and delish bakery items. (I recommend the cinnamon rolls.)
3. Chips - a DELICIOUS fast-food restaurant that offers one-of-a-kind cheese curds and onion rings. (Warning: after eating Chips, you may feel the need for a nap. It is like Thanksgiving dinner.)
4. Mulligan's Irish Pub - the best bar IN THE WORLD! It is mellow, the bartenders are awesome, the jukebox has an endless song selection, and they give you pickle juice to chase your tequila shots! (Don't dis it til you try it.)
5. Branding Iron Supper Club - a restaurant that offers the most delicious steak & potatoes. (I also recommend the ribs.)
6. The Rapids Mall - it may be small, but it's a mall. And that means shopping! It offers independent stores with unique finds and it has a Younkers, which are hard to find and one of my favorites.

Other town perks: walking paths along the Wisconsin River (I like to feed the geese & ducks there), tons of restaurants, the Rapids Zoo, Dairy Treat (where you can enjoy a 'Cyclone' and mini golf!), and many, many other wonderful places and things to do!

We enjoy some routine when we go home. Saturday mornings I usually cook for the Meyer men, we hang out during the day, usually take at least one nap, grill or go out for dinner, and then hit up Mulligan's. Sunday mornings we always have breakfast at American Table with Grandma & Grandpa Meyer. If it's football season, the men then go down to the "man cave" and watch the Packers. (Little by little, I find myself liking the Pack more and more...Donald Driver  & Aaron Rodgers are some nice eye candy.) Jason joins us from time to time, and that is always an added blessing.

Most of all, I feel so blessed to have a second family that I can spend time with. They are all amazing people with huge hearts. I ♥ Wisconsin Rapids.

Take me or leave me

I have been challenged a lot lately with many different issues. I find most of them extremely hard to deal with. I lack the skill to fix things instantly. Though I am slowly learning that most things take time to be repaired. In all of this stress and emotional trial, I have had one good friend really stand by me. She shall remain nameless for now, she knows who she is. I have also had the unending support of my wonderful husband. I don't know how he does it, but he's always there for me.

I've learned that some people view me in a quite negative way. That I'm a baby, that I'm dramatic, that I'm full of crisis. To these people I say: it's simply not true.

I am an extremely sensitive person and that is my flaw of all flaws. I try and I try harder to get tough skin, but it just won't reveal itself. And I am always the first to admit I am a work-in-progress.

I am so sick and tired of people who claim to care about me but don't stand up for me or talk about me behind my back.

Don't criticize me. Accept me. Love me. Stand up for me. Otherwise just leave me alone.

The Power of Forgiveness

I have been spending a lot of time on Memory Lane lately. It stirs up all kinds of emotions. And it sparked the idea for this blog.

I read somewhere that it takes a stronger person to forgive than to hold a grudge. I couldn't agree more.

As I've made clear in this blog, I have made many mistakes in my life. Some of them so big that I held on to guilt for years. I couldn't forgive myself. And I tried to hide it away, tucked in the back of my brain. But sometimes, as I would lie in bed, in the darkest hour of night, it would come back to haunt me.

Then something changed. One night, as I was crying and hurting about the things I did, the lies I told, something changed. I saw in the darkness, a light. My eyes were closed and I saw "If I can forgive you, why can't you forgive yourself?" It was a question from God. It moved me. And from that moment, I have lived differently. I let the past go. I let my number one critic, myself, forgive me.

I spoke about my past recently with someone, and felt the guilt start to stir up again. I knew it wasn't healthy and that I needed to let it all go, for good. So I sent my apologies to some of the people I hurt and I washed my hands clean of it all. And I can breathe! Weights were lifted off my chest. I can see things a little more clear.

I am a person who can forgive others very easily but was holding a grudge against myself.

I can't express enough what a relief it is to forgive someone.

So if you're holding on to anger, hurt, confusion, or any other negative emotion, I challenge you to let it go. Forgive that person you've been refusing to speak to. Let it all go. See where it takes you. I guarantee it will only make you stronger and better.

Dead End

Stop here
Don't go any further
Take another step
And you're only going to hurt her

Walk away
From the disastrous mess
You take more
She gets less

Doesn't make much sense
But to her it's clear
Turn the other direction
Watch her disappear

Inside out
Or broken into pieces
You don't really care
To look into the creases

A lonely day
Followed by a few more
This way, then that way
It's all a revolving door

© 2011, Alison Meyer

We are FAMILY

"I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich."


My family is everything to me. They are a shoulder to cry on, a source of uncontrollable laughter, hugs of comfort, shelter from the storm, my roots and my future. They will always mean the world to me. And I will never stop loving them.

I don't take enough time to tell my family what they mean to me, so here's a blog just for them. Others can surely read this and relate.

Mom & Dad,
You have taught me so much. I don't even know where to begin. You laid a foundation for me that paved the way for a life filled with joy. You did things for me that seemed so small when I was a child, but now I see are so much bigger than I could have understood then. You took the time to have family dinners every night, to help me with my homework, to feed me ice cream and sleep with me on the pull-out couch when I had my tonsils out, to tell me a comforting story when I was having nightmares and couldn't sleep, to take me driving when I had my permit and was a terrible driver. You had patience with me when I was a selfish young adult trying to figure out life on my own, you helped me get up when I fell down, you forgave my many faults and you always, always loved me. You raised me to love God, to not judge, and to have an open heart and mind.  I don't think I will ever fully understand the sacrifices you made for me. I love you.

Melissa,
You are my big sister and one of the smartest people I know. From the time I could stand on my own two feet, I have looked up to you. You have always looked out for me. (ie: saving me from drowning in lake 26!) I am so proud of all that you have accomplished already in your life. I remember sneaking into your room when you were away at college and just sitting in there, missing you. I remember going in your closet when you were in high school and looking at all of your clothes and wishing I could dress like you. I remember when we shared a room and you overslept and were upset because you had to pin your jeans at school, lol. I remember you taking care of all of us when Mom & Dad would be at work in the summers. And now, we're great friends. I can come to you with anything. I still look up to you. You are a beautiful person. I love you.

Andy,
Hobe-ster! :) Of all of the family, I have probably spent the most time with you. When I didn't have many friends, you would let me spend time with you & yours. We played video games, found a love for scary movies (Scream!), after a few years of recovering from Dad letting us watch It, lol. We shared excitement and anticipation for Santa and the Easter bunny to come every year. We picked on each other a lot, but always had each other's back. I am so proud of the person you have become. You treat Owen like your own son, and you can see in his eyes how much he loves you. You work the hardest of anyone I know. You have so much drive and perseverance. You are incredibly loyal and a great person. I love you.

Dan,
"Pinky, Pinky, Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain..." :) You have always been my buddy. When I didn't feel like I had anyone, I always had you. Even though you're younger than me, in a lot of ways you took care of me. We've always been close and I hope that never goes away. You've always amazed me with your ability to let people in and to give everyone a chance. I rarely see you judge, and that is so unique. Through everything, you have always believed in me. And I want you to know that I believe in you too.  I love you.

To all of you:
I am so proud to call you my family. I will always love you and be here for you.

The Married Life

Good morning all my blogger friends! I hope this comes to you in good spirits, despite the rainy, chilly day we have here in MN.

I have been asked quite a few times "How's the married life?" And every time I thought "What a bizarre question!" Then I realize people are being polite and cute. And then! I thought, I should discus this for a few minutes.

Married life is AWESOME! Heck, I have a husband! Many, many times I wondered if I'd ever be able to say such a thing. And honestly, I know God saw my heart and put me with the right person, at the right time.

Married life also does not feel much different than life before we were married. We still live our lives day to day and have good days and bad days. But, we do realize, respect and love that we are now binded by a promise that is forever.

I want to share a true testimony that Brad & I shared.

We were asked by a couple of people in our church to not live together prior to the wedding. We had been living together for about 4 or 5 months and did not want that to change. Change like that gives me anxiety. We loved living together and thought everything was good the way it was. But my Pastor put out a good point, like he very often does. He said something along the lines of, if you knew you could do something to better & bless your life years from now, wouldn't you? If you could move apart now, and stay that way until your wedding, to please God and bless your marriage, wouldn't you?

Wow. I was scared. I didn't want to leave my comfortable living to do this. But there was one thing I was even more sure of: I did not ever want to get divorced. I want this to be my only marriage, I want to make it work no matter what. So Brad & I talked, and we decided that living apart until our wedding day was the best thing to do for us and for our marriage, and most importantly, for God.

And now, I write to you a month (to the day!) into marriage. And I have no regrets. I am proud of the decision we made and the people who challenged us to make this decision. For I know that we will have gloomy days, but we will have sunny days too. I believe God will always be present in our marriage and help us get through anything. And with God by our side, what can't we do?

A Dream Comes True

This is the story of a little girl. A little girl who wanted so badly to find her prince her whole life. She dreamt of different scenarios in which she would find him and they would fall in love and stay that way forever. She searched high and low, but often felt not good enough for most of the boys she had her eyes on. Then she grew up and found love - a couple of times even! But the men were not her prince; they were not her missing piece. A lot of times she felt lost and wondered if the dream she dreamt would ever come true. She wondered if God had a different plan for her.

And then she found Brad. Her prince. And she knew this man was not an ordinary man, he was special. He was, in every way possible, her dream come true. Her prayers answered. Her safe place to fall.

I am getting married in 3 days and could not be more thrilled. I have always, always wanted to get married to the right person and have a family and live a simple life. I don't want riches, I just want happy. I know marriage will take work at times, and I don't expect the road to be paved in gold, but I want everything it has to offer.

Brad is the most special man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. He is kind, gentle, patient, genuine, funny, smart and amazing. He gives all of his heart to me every day, and for that I am forever grateful. He is honest and doesn't play games. He takes care of me. He rescued me from a life filled with worry and doubt. He is the whole package. And I get to be his wife. J

March 26^th, 2011 will mark a beginning to a very exciting journey. It's the first day of the rest of my life. I'm getting married!!!!

The Beauty Blog

Yet another blog for my ladies!
I am very obsessed with beauty products and have a slight addiction to purchasing them. (I probably have a hundred lip glosses.) So, I thought I'd share some of my absolute favorites, and would love for you to share yours as well!

•Cetaphil moisturizing lotion
I have tried a lot of facial moisturizes and always end up throwing them away because they have some ingredient that makes me break out. This one is awesome! I have used it for a couple of months and it doesn't irritate my skin at all. It is fragrance, lanolin and paraben-free.
http://www.cetaphil.com/Products/Moisturizers.aspx

•Cargo Cosmetics
The wet/dry powder foundation is awesome! It goes on light but has great coverage. Long-wearing but also washes off easily at the end of the day.
The better-than-waterproof mascara is also quite amazing. It is long wearing but isn't super difficult to get off like some waterproof formulas. It just takes warm water. I also have had problems with waterproof formulas clumping, and this doesn't at all. Definitely a staple for me.
http://www.cargocosmetics.com/

•Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer
This is a miracle product for me! I have oily skin, so when I used to wear eyeshadow, by afternoon it would crease and I'd have to wipe it off and touch up. This product goes on as a cream before you apply eyeshadow and dries within seconds. I can go all day without any sign of a crease or oil. The Original matches any skin tone, and I use this more often. The Sin is a shimmering champagne color and I use more when I go out or get a little more dolled up. AH-MAZING!
http://www.urbandecay.com/categories/EyeshadowPrimerPotionDuo.cfm

•Tarte LipSurgence natural lip tint
I've tried a couple of lip tints before and always ended up with dry lips. This one is different! It has super pretty colors that also moisturize! It comes in a fun crayon design too. My favorite shades are lust and enchanted.
http://tartecosmetics.com/tarte-item-lipsurgence-natural-lip-tint

•Sephora Collection Professional Platinum brush line
If you use a brush for any of your makeup application - this line is wonderful. I used to buy cheap powder brushes at the drug store but was introduced to this line when I was at Sephora shopping. I was hesitant to spend an extra $20 on it when I thought they all did the same thing. But I was very pleasantly surprised. The bristles are all synthetic and super soft. I use it for my foundation, bronzer and blush.
http://www.sephora.com/browse/section.jhtml?categoryId=C17062

Well, that's all for now. I would love to hear back from you if you have any must haves for your beauty routine!

This one's for the girls

About a month ago, I started seeing some things differently. It was a drastic change that led to me thinking...a lot! The thinking led to me wanting to share my thoughts with others who might appreciate it. So here goes!

"Woman, female, lady  are nouns referring to adult human beings who are biologically female; that is, capable of bearing offspring. Woman  is the general term. It is neutral, lacking either favorable or unfavorable implication..."

This is where it all started. Lacking either favorable or unfavorable implication? I don't think so. Women are way too hard on themselves. And where does it stem from? From men? From a blurred view of supermodels and super-thin actresses? From a relative who constantly put them self down? It can come from anywhere. Being a woman myself, I feel like I can wholeheartedly express my view on this and (hopefully) not face too much criticism.

No matter what color, what size, what age, women are beautiful! But instead of focusing on this general statement, we find a need to pick. And then pick s'more. We focus on things we hate about our bodies, our facial features, our skin, and we pick. We put ourselves down. We can find a hundred things to love about another woman, but when it comes to our self, we can't find one. Why is this?

I don't have that answer for you. In my mind, I compare myself to others. But I am no one but myself, so how will I ever be pleased comparing myself to someone completely different?

So, after this really (finally!) started to sink in, I really started thinking.

I started by choosing one thing I like about myself. My smile. Something that can bring joy to others. With that realization, I started looking at my whole self differently. I started just seeing what I liked when I looked in the mirror. The bad could go away and never return, because I wasn't acknowledging it anymore. I thought it might last a couple of days, then I'd be back to putting myself down. But this change has stuck around for about a month now, and it's super refreshing!

I look around at all the beautiful women I know.

My mom is beautiful. She redefined age to me. Running her first marathon at almost 50 made me realize, there is no old! She inspires me all of the time.

My sister is beautiful. She manages to get prettier each year.

My friends are beautiful. They are different shapes, different sizes, different hair & skin color, but they are all beautiful.

I hope that someday I can pass this on to a daughter of my own.

I hope you can find one thing you like about yourself today that inspires a whole new view of yourself. You are beautiful.

Sweet Melody

I've heard some really great music lately, and bought a few amazing albums. I wanted to give some suggestions for anyone looking for some good tunes. I am always looking for great music - whether it's someone who has been around for a while, or a new artist. So let me know any suggestions you have, too!


• "Dog days are over"  Florence & the Machine (Album: Lungs)
Catchy tune that I love getting stuck in my head.

• "Colder Weather" & "Martin"  Zac Brown Band (Album: You Get What You Give)
My hearts beats a little faster when Zac Brown really belts out a tune. The band also does an amazing job of harmonizing. "Colder Weather" is a sadder song but nonetheless wonderful.

• "Enchanted" & "Never Grow Up"  Taylor Swift (Album: Speak Now)
For all of those parents reading this, "Never Grow Up" will probably bring a tear to your eye, it's very touching. It reminds me how great being a kid is and how much I wish I could go back for a few days. "Enchanted" is the story of meeting someone who literally takes your breath away and the music and background vocals are incredible. The end is my favorite. ("Please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you")

• "Don't You Wanna Stay" & "See You When I See You"  Jason Aldean (Album: My Kinda Party)
I can't help but sing along to these songs when I put on this CD. "Don't You Wanna Stay" is a duet with Kelly Clarkson, and she belts it out, as usual. "See You When I see You" is a song about not saying goodbye, hoping paths will cross again someday. (I love the line "God made this old world round. And maybe it's that way so the paths that we go down will cross again someday.")

That's all I have for now! Don't forget to suggest your favorites!

The Battle

The suffocation
moves in again
I told it to stay away
the last time it rolled in

But so little does it listen
to my painful plea
Instead it chooses
to overwhelm me

So I try to be patient
and wait for it to pass
But it breaks my heart
like rocks to glass

A disease that takes
my smile to tears
A plague
that infects
my hopes with fears

© 2011, Alison Taylor


I do not know many people who suffer from anxiety. I know there are many  who have it, but keep it hidden. For many, it is embarrassing. People worry it shows weakness. People worry they will be judged. People with anxiety just worry in general.

I have struggled with it since the age of 19. It comes and goes. I never really feel like it is under control, but I find comfort knowing I am not alone and that God will someday take all my worries away from me, and I will find nothing but peace in my soul.

Until then, I hope you know you're not alone.

You are unique!

Hi everyone!

I wasn't sure how to approach this topic, or if I should, but decided to go for it! So here goes...

I want to start by stating that I am not an expert in anything. But I hope this touches your heart if even in the faintest way.

I've had a couple different people tell me they don't know why God made their lives so difficult, and why their lives turned out so differently from another. I've heard people doubt God's existence in their lives. I've seen people completely turn their back to the Lord.

When being questioned myself, why God would put such hardships on some people and give others what seems to be everything, I really thought about it.

I think God is teaching all of His children lessons all of the time. And I think every lesson is different. And every person handles every struggle differently as well. God made us unique, so why wouldn't our problems and reactions to them be unique?

And how boring would it be if we all had the same problems at the same time? How would we learn anything, or grow, if we knew what was coming?

I thank God for making me the person I am today. If I were handed everything from Him that I asked for, what kind of person would I be today?

I know it's easy to wonder "why me?" But maybe the next time you face a challenge in your life, you can ask "how can this make me a better person?"

You can be bitter because of a problem in life. That's really easy! You can hold onto a grudge for all it's worth and refuse to let go. You can lay in bed all day feeling sorry for yourself. (I've been there!) You can be angry at the world.

But, I challenge you to let go of the bitterness and resentment you're harboring. Replace it with forgiveness and love. I don't care how corny that sounds, see how much farther you go when you do this. As hard as it can be some days, get out of bed and face the day with a smile. You'll be surprised to see what happens.

God loves ALL of his children. He doesn't choose pain for you, he cries out with you in times of heartache. He is right there reaching out His hand to you. Will you reach back?